THINGS TO DO THIS VALENTINE'S DAY
(or any day of the year, for that matter.)
1. Get sucked into an 8tracks playlist black hole.
2. Experiment with portion size.
Why else would Thornton's make those huge 930g boxes, if not for you to consume in one sitting?
3. Stay up to date with social media.
There's nothing like mindless scrolling, loneliness masked by acerbic gibes, and vomit-inducing photo + emoji combinations, to squander a few hours of your life and teach you how to think critically and appreciate cultural practises.
4. Pick your own flowers
Tesco Finest roses last a week, but with a little watering and desperation, your aloe vera plant can last forever. Plus, you can slather the gel on your face when you inevitably break out from your excessive chocolate consumption.
5. Write sarcastic lists of things to do on Valentine's Day because you're tired, hungry, and in bed at 5pm.
Until next year, mes amours.